The Real YYH revealed:: Read at your own risk
by LimerenceMag
Summary: What happens when the characters of YYH go nuts? When they snap? When all goings on go to the dogs? I suggest you DO NOT read this if you are easily offended OR of sound mind. May contain offensive material. This series is not appropriate for children.
1. Chapter 1

With the world far from of the clutches of complete chaos , Yusuke decided it was time to return to the human world to pick up his life where he had left it 2 years ago; he only needed a little more time to finish "negotiating" for King Enki. During those long hours between work, Yusuke often reflected on his life. He was now a man in a certain sense, though lacking his manhood in quite another.

Frustrated by this realization, he sent an urgent message through Puu to Keiko to greet him at Genkai's secluded house at once. He thought the message would be safely delivered since average humans could not see Puu. Little did he know, the message was intercepted by his dear old chums: Hiei, Kurama, and of course, Kuwabara. The threesome (and I do mean that in the cleanest sense of the word) decided not to inform Keiko of the "urgent" message sent out by one desperate Yusuke and to instead be there to greet him at Genkai's retreat. Kuwabara, totally oblivious as to the implicit purpose of their trip to Genkai's, came prepared with bento boxes filled with a variety of delicious treats. Hiei and Kurama, well aware of the mood Yusuke would be in upon entering the house, came well-equipped with long hoses, connecting to the well just outside of the house.

Hiei chuckled as he readied the hose, aiming it at the front entrance of the house in preparation for what was to come.

Kurama crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "You seem awfully excited about this, Hiei." said Kurama, smirking most pompously.

Hiei stood up, brushing the dust off his pants. "And why shouldn't I be? Our dear friend, Urameshi, is in for quite a surprise," he paused thoughtfully, "I suppose I should call it 'payback' for the bullshit he's given me in the past." Hiei rubbed his face, hiding the smirk beneath.

Kuwabara, who had been carefully setting out the food, stood up. His face displayed a blank puzzlement. "Uh… what are you guys talkin' about? Aren't we here to like greet him or somethin'?" Kuwabara questioned, scratching his head, embarrassed that he was once again out of the loop by his own ignorance.

The sliding door flew open, and standing in the blindingly bright doorway was a tall silhouette, holding a small package in one hand, and a mighty weapon in the other. Hiei quickly swooped down, releasing the water building up in the hose, promptly drenching the now angry man in the doorway. Yusuke stepped into the house, both of his packages now dripping and drooping most unsatisfied.

"What the FUCK!? How the fuckin' hell are you guys here?! Where the FUCK is Keiko? You guys are fuckin' idiots! Get out of here!" Yusuke screamed as threw the soaking wet package.

Kurama smiled playfully, "I'm glad to see your vocabulary hasn't been much affected by the demon world".

While Yusuke was still screaming obscenities as he found a towel to dry himself off with, Hiei bent over to examine the package Yusuke had thrown. He picked up the box and read the contents within, "Genkai brand condoms, guaranteed protection against the catching and spreading of Demon AIDS" Hiei laughed loudly and held the box out for the others to see. "When he sent out an urgent message for Keiko,… he sure wasn't kidding." The other two laughed loudly with Hiei.

Yusuke, covering himself with a towel, ran out and snatched the box out of Hiei's hands which were trembling from crippling laughter. "You guys are fucked up. Why the hell would you do this to me?! What the hell have I ever done to you guys?!" Yusuke ranted, his face a deep scarlet.

Kurama wiped the smile off his face and stared judgingly at Yusuke. "Having intimate relations with a girl you have not yet married… or even dated… the idea is just barbaric," he scoffed at Yusuke's premarital intentions.

Kuwabara threw his hands behind his head and bashfully admitted, "I guess I'm a barbarian then, huh, Kurama?" He laughed in embarrassment.

The other three gawked at him in shock.

Yusuke stared at him wide-eyed and screeched, "Since when has any girl ever wanted to have sex with you?! Or… was it a girl…?"

Kuwabara's face turned a deeper shade of red. His hands dropped down, "OF COURSE IT WAS A GIRL! GEEZ, URAMESHI! YOU THINK I'D DO A… GEEZ!"

Yusuke sharply turned his head, "Well don'tcha have somethin' ta say, Hiei?!" Hiei was no longer standing where he had been just a few seconds ago. "Hiei?" Yusuke turned to look at the porch, suddenly feeling a horrible burning sensation in his rectum. He saw Hiei sitting on the porch, leaning back languidly, sensually puffing at a cigarette.

Yusuke grabbed his burning buttocks and yelled painfully, "What the HELL did you do to my ass?!"

Kuwabara suddenly felt a sharp burning sensation in his rectal area, very similar to Yusuke's, and screamed the same accusation at the completely satisfied Hiei, "OW! What the fuck didya do to our asses, Hiei?!"

Kurama scowled hatefully at Hiei, "I saw what you did, Hiei. I think it is completely disgusting and vile."

Hiei casually rolled his head to face the angered Kurama, "Ok, then don't partake in my activities." He rolled his head back into position and took another deep puff from his cigarette.

Yusuke looked at Kurama frightfully, "Wait… what are you tellin' me…? What the hell did you see him do?!" Kuwabara, still oblivious to the exact situation, wandered to the bathroom to attempt to relieve this burning feeling the only way he knew how.

Kurama, turned away from Yusuke, still glaring at Hiei, "I am not one to share such horrid things. It is too disgusting for me to say."

Yusuke clenched his fist and furrowed his eyebrows. "Whaddayamean ya can't say?! He did it to MY ASS! Just tell me what the fuck he did so I can beat the shit out of him!"

Kuwabara ran out of the bathroom, pants still around his ankles, and toilet paper clinging to his naughty region, "URAMESHI! HE… HE…"

Yusuke turned around quickly, "WHAT?! JUST SPILL IT AWREADY!"

"HE RAPED OUR ASSES!" Kuwabara shouted.

Yusuke looked dumbfounded. He turned toward the porch to face the still lounging Hiei. "I oughta kill you for that, you fucking pervert…" he said, clenching his teeth angrily. Just then, a flush of material and liquid rushed through his anal cavity. Yusuke clenched up tight and ran for the bathroom, locking the exposed Kuwabara out. Kuwabara looked down and saw his pants had not been pulled up to their appropriate position and snatched them up swiftly, his whole body blushing deeply.

"What's all that ruckus?!" a crackling voice shouted.


	2. Chapter 2

"What's all that ruckus?!" Genkai bellowed as she quickly made her way to the front room where everyone else had collected themselves. Yukina followed closely behind, her hands clamped together nervously. "What the hell is all the noise for? Don't you kids have any manners?" the old woman sneered.

Yukina stepped from behind the snapping old Genkai, her eyes sweeping over everyone in the room and coming to rest on Hiei. Her eyes widened in adoration. Hiei turned around and caught Yukina staring at him, to which he responded by raising an eyebrow.

Yukina blushed cutely, "Hello, Hiei-sama. I am so very happy that you have come by today." She smiled at him.

Hiei felt strangely about his younger sister greeting him like that, and quickly feared that the secret was out. He quickly put that concern aside, deciding that he wouldn't feed suspicions about anything anyone has told her of their kinship.

Yukina shyly approached Hiei on the porch. She blushed quite noticeably.

"Would you like anything to drink, Hiei-sama?" she said.

Hiei stared at her, "No… Thanks…"

"Are you sure? I would be very pleased if I could get you anything… anything… at…all…" Yukina looked down to hide the fact that her entire face was flushed.

"No…I'm quite alright…" said Hiei. He began to grow sick to his stomach at the way Yukina was acting toward him.

"Oh…alright…I suppose I will be in the back room…alone… You can come find me if you change your mind, Hiei-sama." With that, Yukina scurried off to the back room. Hiei could only stare in horror. His face was devoid of all color. Once Yukina had left the room, Yusuke laughed hysterically at Hiei's total disgust.

"HA! Your little sis has the hots fer you!" he said, grinning like an idiot. Kuwabara, who had been near tears to see Yukina throw herself at another man, realized the humor of the situation and joined Yusuke in the teasing of Hiei,

"Hahaha! That's right, Hiei! I guess yer gonna rape your sister's ass too, huh?"

The two began doubling over with laughter, as Hiei's whitened face grew ever more colorless. That spongy, flaccid penis that had just minutes ago, penetrated the defenses of two unsuspecting derrieres, now crept up inside Hiei's gut for protection from the thought of something far more revolting than sin.

Yusuke and Kuwabara continued to laugh and ridicule the horrified Hiei while Kurama's eyes aimlessly drifted over the scenery outdoors.

He heard something strange. Something faint. It sounded like someone's muffled screams. This worried him. He immediately suspected that something was amiss. He left the comedic scene of the room to find the source of these disturbing noises. He went from room to room, listening for the low bawls. He placed his ears against every wall, in every room. He frantically moved from room to room, listening carefully for the sound, though taking great care not to make any himself. As minutes passed, the screaming seemed to become more exasperated. He feared the worse.

Just as he felt he would never find the source, the screaming became slightly louder. He closed his eyes to concentrate on the direction in which the sound was originating. It was behind him. He turned around and furtively crept to the door. He took great care not to startle any attacker away, and thus sparing him of the pain he was to soon receive. Kurama gently placed his ear between the door and frame to listen. The screams were familiar. They were Yukina's screams. Fearfully, though quietly, Kurama nudged the door open to see what was going on inside. He saw Yukina's hair on the edge of a bed, though nothing of her attacker. Kurama thought to himself, "This must be her bedroom…but how would the intruder know to drag her back here?" He cautiously prodded the door open more and saw something truly frightening. Yukina laying on her bed, kimono carelessly rolled up around her hips, her fingers inserted in her dripping wet womanhood. She was moaning softly and crying out Hiei's name. Kurama's stomach dropped. His skin turned white.

"Oh…Hiei…Oh…please take me…Oh I hope I am a good lover for you…Oh…Hiei…" moaned Yukina, rolling her head in pleasure.

Kurama felt his lunch being ejected out of his convulsing stomach. He grabbed his stomach with one hand, his mouth with the other and slunk away quickly. He made his way back to the room where everyone else was still making a commotion. Hiei still sat frozen in his expression of horror. Kurama sat next to him, sharing the same expression. Yusuke took notice and stopped laughing. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "What's the matter, Kurama?"

"Oh…Nothing…I just suddenly started feeling very sick to my stomach." said Kurama, his eyes wide and his face white.

Yusuke happened to look up to see two familiar figures materializing on the beaten pathway. Keiko and Shizuru slowly made their way through the winding woods up to Genkai's house. Yusuke announced their arrival, "Hey, looks like we've got some girls coming to join the party." Yusuke grinned, paused for a moment, and walked back over to the bathroom, where his damp clothes still laid out to dry. He closed the bathroom door behind him to get dressed for his beloved. Kuwabara's laughing ceased and he ran to the door to see what girls Yusuke was talking about.

"Aw… that's no girl, that's just my stupid sis." Kuwabara grumbled in disappointment. He walked to the spread of food and sat down.

Hiei and Kurama had not recovered from their frightening discoveries and still sat as motionless as statues on the porch.

Yusuke came out of the bathroom, dressed in his dampened clothes, and walked out onto the porch to greet the ladies. Keiko looked as cute as ever, dressed in her school uniform. She ran to Yusuke and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh, Yusuke! I missed you so much! I'm so glad you're back!" she said excitedly, kissing him on the cheek.

Yusuke grumbled; he knew he was sure to get far more than a kiss on the cheek if his imbecile friends had stayed out of his business. "Yeah, I missed you too, Keiko." Yusuke said, less than thrilled to greet her in front of such a crowd.

Shizuru stepped onto the porch, carrying several bags. "Hey boys, I hope we're not late for the party."

Hiei suddenly snapped back to reality, "And who the hell informed you about this?" he said with an obvious tone of annoyance.

Shizuru smiled, took the shriveled cigarette butt out of her mouth and tossed it to the ground, "Why, Kazuma of course. You do remember that my dear little brother has the habit of talking very _loudly_ in his sleep?" Shizuru placed the bags on the porch and added, "But don't worry. I didn't come empty-handed."


	3. Chapter 3

Shizuru placed the bags on the porch and said, "But don't worry. I didn't come empty-handed." She opened up the crackling paper bags to reveal a bounty of sake. Everyone, minus one irritated Hiei, gawked at the 8 bottles of sake Shizuru brought for the now proclaimed party.

Yusuke threw his fist up in the air "Ok, let's get it started then! Drink up!" he yelled eagerly.

Genkai, who had been standing there and observing the groups ridiculous antics, had her fill and did not wish to see any skirmish lubricated with alcohol. She grumbled about hating idiot youngsters as she stormed out of the room.

The bottles and sake cups were removed from their bags and placed next to the bento spread. Yukina, responding to the excited shouts coming from the room, ran quickly to see what was going on.

"Oh, Keiko, Shizuru. I didn't know you got here!" she said happily, clapping her hands together.

Kurama and Hiei, much to their misfortune, noticed the odd, satisfied glow about Yukina. The two swiftly looked away before they would have to hurry to the bathroom.

Yusuke generously poured all of the cups to the brim with sake and declared a toast, "Here's to one hell of a group. Toast!"

Everyone toasted and took a drink from their cups. Yusuke downed his cup faster than a bolt and went for a refill, much to the disgust of the others around.

Kurama frowned, "How much are you intending to drink, Yusuke?" he said disdainfully.

"Enough to satisfy." Yusuke retorted with a grin and a wink as he downed his second cup of sake. He looked over at Keiko's cup, which was missing but a sip. Seeing his chance to be a gentleman, Yusuke reached for the bottle and quickly topped Keiko's cup off, "Here ya go, Keiko. Drink up!"

"Um, Yusuke, You know, I'm not much of a drinker…" Keiko said warily. She stared down at her cup timidly.

"That's 'cause you're a girl. It shows, Keiko." Yusuke added with a wink as he downed his third sake.

Keiko, in a huff, gargled her sake down as quickly as she could, holding her nose to avoid the burning sensation. She placed her cup down haughtily, looking at Yusuke defiantly. "There. Happy?"

He chuckled as he drank from his cup, looking at her out of the side of his eye.

"What? What's so funny?" she said irritably.

"Nothin'…Just that…You had to hold your nose to drink it." Yusuke chuckled again as he refilled his cup.

Everyone else was enjoying the food, chatting, and laughing at how ignorantly Yusuke and Keiko were gulping down their alcohol.

Keiko began to get quite drunk, though she couldn't drink her sake in such a way to keep Yusuke from laughing at her. She started looking quite flushed, her eyes glazed over. "Der! I ded it an you can' laff no mur, Yushkay!" she said, splattering saliva all over Yusuke's face. She stared at him shakily. She blushed and leaned closer to him. "Yer sho hanshom. I luff you, Yushkay. Kish me…"

Yusuke leaned forward and planted a drunken wet kiss on her face, though missing the mark of her lips. "You kno dat we culd do moar than kish." Yusuke said gauchely.

"Was dat?" she said, her inebriated interest highly peaked.

"We culd do ush shom shecks. Right in da bed over der" he responded, feebly pointing off in some vague direction.

"Lesh do dat den. Lesh do ush shom shecks." She giggled.

"Ok, ok, ok, but lesh not do tell de othersh. So keep it shecret, ok? …ok?" Yusuke stammered out.

"Oh… Sheeecret… ok SHHHHH" Keiko nodded in agreement.

The others stared at the intoxicated couple in complete horror. No one had words for the strange exchange they had just heard. Kurama began twitching in aggravation.

"You are both utterly disgusting if you are going to engage in such asinine behavior. You should not be engaging in intercourse before marriage…" Kurama said, glaring at the rosy, vacant-minded couple.

Yusuke leaned over to Keiko, and lifted his hand, attempting to whisper a secret message, though failing miserably, "I tink he'sh onto ush. We'ed better be caaarful."

"Yesh, carful" Keiko agreed.

Yusuke bent over and grabbed Keiko's hand, dragging the smashed damsel to the nearest room. He threw the door open clumsily and let Keiko in first. He stepped into the dim room and attempted to close the door, though in his intoxicated state, was not able to do so completely. He quickly turned his mind to the task at hand: getting his pants off. Keiko fumbled with her shirt buttons. Her hardened nipples poked through her shirt, temptingly. Yusuke successfully pulled his pants off, and stumbled over to Keiko, fondling and groping her partially exposed chest. He threw his face against hers ineptly, kissing her and pushing her away from the coffee table and onto the couch he managed to find. He pulled off her skirt, his lips still planted firmly on hers. His hands, hot with anticipation, rubbed and groped her smooth, flushed legs. He snatched her skirt down around her ankles, kissing her exposed legs. Keiko rubbed the back of Yusuke's neck and moaned loudly. Her whole body stirred in pleasure. Yusuke began groaning as he pulled himself on top of Keiko. He quickly realized she still had her panties on. He grabbed her panties and tried to slide them down her legs. He got them down far enough and leaned back over to continue kissing her only to find that Keiko had fallen asleep, her mouth wide open. She was snoring quite obnoxiously. Yusuke shook her bare shoulders, "Keiko, Keiko, wakeup, Keiko! C'mon we wash doin shecks! Wake up!" he shouted at her futilely. "Since you said I culd, I'm gonna put it in now, m'kay? Ish gonna be hawt don' you worry, Keiko." he said dumbly.

During this whole trial, the group had been sitting in the other room, listening in utter shock to the two of them, very glad that they were not as drunk. Kurama, who had been angered and upset by the whole situation, got up upon hearing that Yusuke was going to have sex with an unconscious Keiko, threw the door open and stormed into the room. Yusuke looked behind him, squinting at Kurama to bring his face into focus.

Kurama reached over and pulled Yusuke off of Keiko, "Now that is just wrong, Yusuke! Get off of her!" he shouted irately.

Yusuke stumbled off of the couch, dressed only in his shirt and boxers. "But sheee wash gonna do it! She shaid yesh!" Yusuke blubbered in lumbering frustration.

"You know as well as I do that it is just wrong to take advantage of an unconscious person." Yusuke grumbled and pulled his pants on begrudgingly. He glared once more at Kurama and stumbled out of the room back to where everyone else was seated. Kurama looked over to the couch and saw a near-nude Keiko. He blushed, turned his face away quickly and reached for a blanket to throw over her. He covered her up and walked hastily out the door to join everyone else.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurama covered Keiko up and walked hastily out the door to join everyone else.

Yusuke groaned, "I'll always be a vergin!" holding his aching head. "Why doya hafta mess wit me, Kurama, why?!" he screamed hoarsely.

Kurama rolled his eyes. Shizuru, now showing the same flushed and glazed over expression began awkwardly scoot next to Kurama. She put her arm over his shoulders. Kurama furrowed his eyebrows and looked at her strangely from the corner of his eye. Shizuru wore a wide smile and stared at Kurama adoringly. Kuwabara, also becoming quite tipsy, noticed his sister becoming too friendly with Kurama, though in his drunken state, he could not accurately interpret the situation. He slammed his sake cup on the ground and yelled, "Kurama! Get offa my sis! I killya you dirty punk!" Kurama looked surprised to hear such a remark from him. Kurama brushed off the threat as nothing more than drunk talk. Kuwabara continued ranting as Shizuru began rubbing against Kurama. Kurama was highly irritated by the goings-on, so he got up abruptly and walked out to the porch to be alone. Hiei was already relaxing out on the porch, looking up at the stars. Kurama glanced over at him, sighed, and took a seat.

Hiei turned his head to look at Kurama, "Are all of those idiots already drunk?" he asked.

Kurama nodded. "They are all groping and fondling each other like a bunch of idiots. I believe now Shizuru is attempting to do some highly inappropriate activities with Yusuke."

Hiei nodded understandingly and turned to look at the stars once more. "You know, you're a very uptight one, Kurama."

Kurama turned towards Hiei quickly to glare at him, "What do you mean 'uptight'?"

"Well, the Kurama of the demon world wasn't afraid to drink sake." Hiei paused to let Kurama snort disagreeably," I have a serious question for you."

Kurama unfurrowed his eyebrows.

"Have you actually gone anywhere with a woman?" Hiei asked calmly.

Kurama blushed and turned away, "I don't feel that I need to answer that." he said huffily.

"Ok, ok." Hiei chuckled. He sat up and poured a couple of cups of sake for Kurama and himself.

"I don't think I ought to do that." he snubbed.

"Heh. Are you sure you don't want to do it for old time's sake?" Hiei smirked.

Kurama grumbled and picked up the glass hesitantly. He paused for a moment. Hiei raised an eyebrow at him. Kurama closed his eyes and gulped down the sake as quickly as he could manage. He shook his head and widened his eyes, "I had almost forgotten the taste. It's been a long time. I don't think Shuichi has the stomach for it, though." Hiei nodded and poured another drink for each of them. The two swallowed drink after drink until finally, Kurama, having the stomach of an average high-school aged boy, began to succumb to the grips of the sake.

Hiei chuckled, "You were right. Shuichi couldn't stomach much." Kurama's flushed face stared blankly at Hiei. Hiei looked at Kurama for a moment. He lifted his hand and slowly waved it in front of Kurama's eyes, which were still fixed on Hiei. Kurama's eyes did not follow Hiei's hand. It was official; Kurama is very deep in the Drunk Forest. Hiei chuckled again. "Kurama. You know something fun to do?" he said slyly. Kurama looked up at him, his expression devoid of all thought. Hiei stood up in front of Kurama and let his pants down far enough to free the mighty dragon. He placed his hand firmly on the back of Kurama's head, and with his other hand, he carefully positioned his penis right next to Kurama's mouth. "What a tasty popsicle, hm, Kurama? Want to have a taste?" Kurama opened his mouth and began licking Hiei's weasel-pop. Hiei laughed evilly as he watched Kurama, as conceited and stuck-up as he had been acting, was fellating him. He thought to himself, "Hm, he's actually pretty good at this… Has he done it before?" Hiei looked strangely at Kurama as he continued to lick and suck away. He decided to shrug it off for the time being. Hiei grabbed Kurama's head and pulled him closer as he ejaculated into Kurama's mouth. Kurama wore a stupidly puzzled expression.

"That…popsicle…verrry salty…" he sputtered and gurgled on the semen. Kurama fell over and passed out on his stomach, his mouth still open.

Hiei fixed himself back into his pants, looked down at Kurama, and decided he had gotten off too easy, but at the moment, there was little he could do with a soft and spongy sword. He turned away and walked inside to see what the other drunken idiots were doing. As he pushed the large sliding door to one side, he was ambushed by Yukina, who had obviously had much more than was previously allowed in her protective ice village. She embraced Hiei hotly, gripping his shirt with her delicate white hands. She looked up at him, blushing madly.

"I love you, Hiei. Please. I love you." she blabbed passionately.

Hiei looked horridly down at his sister, his eyes wide with shock. He had no words for how awkward he felt at that moment.

Yukina, misinterpreting his frozen facial expression, attempted to coax him, "Hiei, it's ok if you love me. We can be lovers. Just you and me."

Hiei's eye twitched anxiously. He struggled to quickly find a way out of this most undesirable situation. He figured it out. "Ok, Yukina," he said softly, reaching for a bottle of sake, "Take this. Drink it quickly. Meet me in the back room."

Yukina nodded happily, taking the bottle from Hiei. She turned around, took a swig from the bottle, looked back at Hiei, smiled and left the room.

Hiei sighed in frustration, rubbing his forehead. He hoped she would pass out quickly so he would not have to deal with her for any more of the night. He looked at the others. They were far too drunk to imagine. Yusuke and Kuwabara were arguing over something incomprehensible to any humans with half a brain while Shizuru clumsily groped at Yusuke's pants. Hiei smirked. He figured he had waited long enough and might as well get to enjoy the party before everyone passed out. He readied himself, dick in one hand, the other hand standing at the ready for action.

As Hiei's blur passed through the group, the arguing and groping stopped for a moment.

"Wha waz dat?" Yusuke bawked. He looked around quickly, squinting his eyes to keep his vision in focus.

"Iunno…" Kuwbara pondered. He scratched his disheveled head in confusion.

"DAT WAZ YOU YA DIRRTY FUUUCK!" Yusuke shouted suddenly.

"MEBAY YOU IS DE DIRTY FUCK!" Kuwabara retorted.

The two being swinging wildly at each other, though in their feebled state, neither had the coordination to land any strikes on the other. Shizuru crawled away slowly, holding her aching ass and cursing every guy she could think of.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Genkai got out of bed, and opened her window to enjoy the morning's fresh air. She immediately sensed that something odd had happened the night before. She expected as much, since sake was involved. She walked out to her front room, where the group had held the party the night before and discovered a chaotic scene. Upon opening the door, she immediately saw Shizuru, passed out and curled up on the floor. She was gripping an empty bottle of sake and a box of cigarettes. She grimaced as she looked at the pitiful sight of a much disheveled, partially clothed Kuwabara spooning an equally disheveled and partially clothed Yusuke. She knew they were good friends, but even the wise old Genkai would have never predicted to find them in such a position. She saw one of the doors in the room was left open a crack. She rolled her eyes and wondered to herself what kind of surprise awaited her in that room. Sighly deeply, she made her way to the door, stepping over garbage and trashed partiers. She poked her head inside nonchalantly and saw Keiko, almost completely naked, and barely covered up by one of Genkai's good throws. She grumbled angrily and marched off to see what kind of wreck lay on porch. She opened the door and gazed shockingly at Kurama, who was laying flat on the porch, seminal fluid dripping out of his mouth and splattered in his tangled red locks. Hiei sat on the other end of the porch, reclined tranquilly, puffing away at a cigarette. He looked at Genkai, who was now fuming over the condition the party-goers had left her house. Hiei sensed she would explode, but seeing as he had not left much a mess himself, he did not worry. Genkai's life force built up overwhelmingly. It surrounded her as an impenetrably thick cloud of sheer homicidal rage.

The others, feeling crushed beneath such an overpowering haze, began to snap out of their slumbers. Kuwabara only half woke up, grumbling something about rats and tight rope, and rolled over, away from Yusuke, not realizing how he had been sleeping all night. Yusuke sat up, rubbed his eyes roughly and squinted at an unfamiliar ball of fury. He stared stupidly, trying to focus his eyes on the center of the huge ball of energy. It walked closer to him. He was startled, but could not move. He heard Genkai's pounding voice. A swift pain to his face sent him flying into the wall. Kuwabara felt his hair being pulled almost off of his head. He was dragged abrasively over the floor very quickly. His partially exposed buttocks burned against the rough tatami. He was abruptly thrown into the wall opposite Yusuke. Shizuru, Kurama and Keiko began to wake up after such a racket. Shizuru held her head and struggled to keep her eyes open. Keiko sat up sharply. She felt a draft. She looked down and threw her arms over her chest quickly, blushing uncontrollably. Upon hearing voices coming from the main room, she rapidly got dressed, ignoring the pounding headache and wrenching stomach.

Genkai's life force was so incredible that she actually levitated in mid-air. She glared down at the stumbling Kuwabara and Yusuke. The two looked up fearfully at Genkai. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU TRASHED MY HOUSE?!" she roared. Shizuru reeled in pain from the noise, grabbing her head and assuming fetal position. Yusuke and Kuwabara trembled in terror from the spiteful old woman. Genkai forcefully grabbed their heads and bashed them mercilessly against one another. She continued snarling her displeasure as she beat the daylights out of the boys. Kurama began to groan from the pain in his head. He struggled to lift his head. He wanted to know what was happening; what was creating so much god-awful noise. Oh the noise made his head pound and throb so. He felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. It was deafening. He grabbed his head and laid it back on the ground. Hiei just snickered at his frail attempts to get up.

"Heh. You really do have the tolerance of a high school boy. You should be ashamed." Hiei jeered.

Kurama groaned. He had a very odd taste in his mouth: an overpoweringly salty taste. He tried to spit it out of his mouth. He saw white fluid. He suddenly remembered performing absolutely awful acts on Hiei. Kurama furrowed his eyebrows and let out a low growl. He swore to beat Hiei to a fine pulp once he was able. Hiei walked over to him and leaned down to look him in his swollen, puffy red eyes.

"Are you remembering our night together? I quite enjoyed myself. You are rather talented in sucking off heavily-endowed demons. Maybe we'll try it again another night, hm?" he laughed evilly.

Kurama gurgled angrily, "Hiei… what you did… I WILL kill you."

Hiei stood up and took a few steps away. He stopped and said over his shoulder, "Before you consider any sort of revenge, you should shower yourself. You really do look appalling." He sauntered arrogantly back inside.

Kurama sat up and touched his tangled tresses gently. He found wet spots. He shuddered and feared the worse. He looked at his reflection in the window closest to him. His fears were found; Hiei had left his mark in Kurama's hair. He started to become increasingly angry, which made his headache ever more unbearable. He stood up and stormed inside, feeling the anger percolate his entire body. He would get revenge. He knew exactly when and how to do that. All he had to do was be patient.


	6. Chapter 6

A few days later, after the group finishing cleaning and repairing the damage done to Genkai's house, Yusuke decided he wanted to make the trek to Tokyo to visit his mother

A few days later, after the group finishing cleaning and repairing the damage done to Genkai's house, Yusuke decided he wanted to make the trek to Tokyo to visit his mother. He sat up from the spotless floor he had just scrubbed down and wiped the sweat from his brow. He looked over at the girls, all of whom were fixing the panels around the windows and cleaning the glass to a vibrant shine. His eyes dropped down to Keiko's round buttocks. He was surprised by how round and firm they looked. He had an overwhelming desire to grope her; to rub her; to make hot passionate love to her right there in the living room – as everyone watched on in awe. He salivated madly. Keiko turned around. Yusuke's face was twisted, his eyes faraway, his mouth wide open as saliva pooled on the floor beneath him. She gasped in bewilderment and delivered a blow to his cranium that could crack mountains. Yusuke snapped out of his perverted daydream to rub his throbbing head.

"What the hell were you doing staring at my like that?!" Keiko demanded angrily. She blushed as she crossed her arms and stared haughtily down at him. Though his goo-goo eyes offended her, she couldn't deny they made her feel hot and bothered.

Yusuke felt stupid for doing what he did, so he responded as he normally would to a situation in which he feels incredible guilt. "I was just thinkin' that if you had bigger boobs, you'd look more like a woman, 'at's all." he said, cocking his head back and closing one eye.

In the room next to the living room, Kurama and Hiei felt tremors in the ground followed by Yusuke's painful screams. They looked up only for a moment and continued mopping and dusting the room they were in. They smirked knowing that he had done or said something idiotic to get himself beat up once again.

Yusuke cowered, holding his head with both arms defensively, "Look, Keiko, I was jus' wonderin' if you wanted to like visit my mom today or somethin'. Don' get yer panties in a knot. Yeesh."

Keiko suddenly lowered her fists as her face relaxed into a smile. She clapped her hands together eagerly, "Oh! That would be great! We could do some shopping in Tokyo while we're at it too!" she beamed.

Shizuru looked over her shoulder and grinned widely, "we could also buy some more sake."

"Um…. I don't think that would be such a good idea… not this soon anyway…" Keiko said hesitantly.

Yusuke remembered that night. He almost lost his virginity. Sake was indeed the answer. He knew she wouldn't drink it willingly that night, but it was the only way to get sex from such a prude. He also knew he had to be careful; if she drank too much as she did a few nights before, she would again pass out before the deed was done. That just wasn't going to happen. Not again, anyway. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he greedily swept his eyes over Keiko's womanly figure. Once again, Keiko caught him staring at her lustfully. She turned all shades of red as she planted an uppercut on Yusuke's conniving face.

"Damn, Keiko! Why dontya start wearin' a jock strap and fuckin' girls if yer gonna act like such a butch!" Yusuke shouted angrily at her. He stopped for a second and thought about how hot it would be if he could get Keiko … and Botan to be drunk enough to start rubbing on each other with oils… giggling…fondling each other's breasts…and also – Keiko pile drove his fat perverted head into the floor before he could finish his thoughts.

"Stop thinking things about me!! I know you're doing it and it's disgusting and wrong! Just stop!" Keiko screeched, her whole body filling up with a deep crimson color.

Yusuke was finally out. She had knocked the boy unconscious. As he lay sprawled out on the floor with a moderately severe concussion, he began to drift off into a dream world…


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh Yusuke… you're amazing… I just want to make love to you all night… oh, Yusuke… please… oh… take me, Yusuke…" he heard in the distance somewhere

"_Oh Yusuke… you're amazing… I just want to make love to you all night… oh, Yusuke… please… oh… take me, Yusuke…" he heard in the distance somewhere. He was in a strange place. It was very dark. He frantically looked everywhere for the voice_

"_Whardyago?!" Yusuke called out desperately._

"_Oh, Yusuke, I feel so warm … so wet… Please… hurry… hurry, Yusuke. Take me." the voice moaned passionately._

_Yusuke began running around in circles with an erection so big, he could have put an eye out. He wanted to have sex with whomever it was saying those things. He didn't care what she looked like or who she was. "WHERE ARE YOU?!" Yusuke shouted anxiously, "I will seriously fuck ya RIGHT now if ya tell me where ya are!" he called out, holding his manhood as it throbbed hungrily._

"_Oh… Yusuke… follow my voice…please…be quick… I can't last much longer… I need you…I want you…please, Yusuke…take me…" the voice groaned erotically._

_Yusuke sprinted in the direction of the voice despite not being able to see a thing. He figured he had gone blind, but that didn't make sex any less desirable. He was going to sleep with whoever that was no matter what. He ran and ran, wondering how much further he would possibly have to go. The hallways were pitch black with no indication of a sex-hungry min, but he knew she was around here somewhere and was determined to find her. After was seemed like hours, he finally found a door. He grabbed the doorknob hastily and thrust it wide open. The room inside was lit romantically with candles all along the walls. In the center of the room was a bed covered by a think canopy. Behind the curtains surrounding the bed, he could hear the voice, clear as day, moaning and he could see the silhouette of a figure inside, rolling desperately on the bed. At that moment, he was either having sex or exploding. He leapt through the curtains onto the bed "Here I come, doll, hope yer ready for me-" As he landed on the bed, he saw something truly frightening. The voice was Hiei's. It was his face at least, but he had breasts, and …more importantly…lady parts. Yusuke was indeed very surprised, but decided to go with it. "Hiei, ya'r one sick fuck, and once I'm done I ain't talkin' to ya no more…" he said as he climbed on top of Hiei and pulling down his pants._

Kieko watched as Yusuke writhed on the floor, clutching his member, groping air, and puckering his lips. She felt absolutely horrified by his behavior, but secretly, it made her feel all kinds of inappropriate anxiety and desire she had taught herself to avoid over the years. She stomped on his face with all the fury of the heavens, tearing Yusuke away from his strange and perverted dream. Yusuke snapped out of his dream, rubbing his face in pain and trying to get up despite a horrible headache.

Shizuru shook her head "Oh Keiko, I don't think you should be having any lover's quarrels with your boy right now." She said flatly as she made her way outside to have a cigarette.

"I-I-I w-was NOT having a 'lover's quarrel' with Yusuke!" Keiko screamed defensively.

"And I ain't a 'boy' you filthy bitch" Yusuke shouted as jumped up from the floor, holding his throbbing head.

"Have you made it with anyone yet, Yusuke?" Shizuru asked loudly from the porch as she lit her cigarette.

Yusuke looked away, scowling in hatred, knowing she was right. He was still a "boy" despite having improved his strength and increasing the respect he got from demons and humans alike. He clenched his fist and tried to hide the erection he still had from the shameless dream he had with Hiei. That reminded him of something. He stormed over to where Hiei was blandly wiping the ceiling fixtures clean. They had mysteriously gotten bodily fluids on them, though no one would admit to having put them there. Yusuke stormed in, both fists clenched, his teeth gritted irately, his shoulders held up high in anger. Hiei nonchalantly looked up at Yusuke, "What." He said flatly.

"STAY THE _**FUCK**_ OUT OF MY DREAMS!" Yusuke bellowed furiously, pointing at Hiei accusingly.

Hiei's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes widened in total surprise. He had though Yusuke would have had something to say about the ass-raping, but this was truly a shock. Yusuke stormed out of the room heatedly to talk to one light-headed and blushing Keiko about plans to visit Tokyo.


End file.
